My sweet boy,
I hope that the time I see you is not too long. I hope that I am doing all the right things so that I can be able to raise you and take care of you and be able to be with you forever.
I was playing games tonight with the "girls" (my friends) and I won three times!!! Go me!!! One of them made the comment that the second coming is right around the corner 1) We have a black president 2) a plane crashes in the water and nobody is hurt 3) the cardinals are going to the superbowl.
I seriously hope she is right. She does make some interesting points. LOL (to my readers, please don't be offended. It was a flippant remark said in good fun.)
I miss you more than I can bare some days. Each time I see a picture of you, my heart hurts a little bit, and I have A LOT of pics of you :). I spend a lot of time in denial. Too much time spent in my reality is sometimes more than I can stand.
I am grateful for you little man. I am grateful that each time I do see a picture of you, I am reminded of the reason we are here. I am reminded that I need to say my prayers. I need to plead with my Father in Heaven. I am reminded of the healing power of the atonement and the sealing power of the temple. I am grateful to you for teaching me to be a better mom. I am grateful for you teaching me how to love another human being and not to take advantage of those loved ones that I have.
I am grateful for the time I was able to spend with you. For the time I was able to be your mom here on earth. It was a short time and of course I wish it would have been longer, but I am grateful nonetheless. I am grateful for the moments when I am in deepest despair and I can feel your loving arms around me, trying to comfort me and tell me it will all be ok and will work out in the end.
Thank you little man. I love you soooooo soooooo very much.
8 comments:
I love that you write letter to your children. I am going to take your lead and try that too.
That is a precious letter to Daxton. I am sure he knows what it says and appreciates it very much. Thanks for sharing it. Both he and you and your little family are constant reminders to me of all the things that I need to be doing in my life to be worthy to return to our Savior...your examples make me a better mom and help me keep my priorities in line better. I know that you will be successful on your earthly mission so that you will be able to be with Daxton forever. You are already proving that and every day get closer to reaching your eternal goals.
I wanted to wish you good luck tomorrow. Just know tons of people are thinking about you and the joy you are about to encounter. I hope everything goes well, you feel the love of your little man around you as you meet his newest sister and you have an overwhelming sense of peace as you meet this newest addition, I also hope she helps to heal your heart even if it is just a little bit. :)
Hi! My name is Edith. Joy Fair told me about your awesome blog. I really like it. I too love that you write letters to your children, you have inspired me to do the same. I recently lost a daughter and even though our pains are different,I feel like they are somewhat still the same. I feel like I can understand you a bit more. Reading your first letter to Daxton brought me soo much peace. Thank you!
Beautiful letters to your children. I am thinking of you & your family & praying for a safe & "easy" delivery for your sweet baby girl tomorrow. I'm sure Daxton is getting her all ready for her debut.
~Kristi Bartel
No words...just sending you big giant hugs your way. Your words are so beautiful.
What a beautiful day January 23rd will be, you will see baby sister's beautiful face. Life is a cycle, a month after my father's passing my nephew was born. It is a bittersweet feeling, but awesome to see a new life after losing a loved one. I heard this yesterday: the only things we cannot control is LIFE AND DEATH; NOTHING makes you grow more than human suffering; there is no major strength than the strength of blood, and the PRESENT is a gift,so enjoy it, it is a present from GOD.
You don't know me. I happened upon your blog, as I was catching up on blogs this morning, and a friend of mine had your blog on hers. I just got done reading your letter to your son, and I'm touched. I can see that the Lord has buoyed you up through an extremely unbearable time. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. And congratulations on the birth of your newest sweet baby girl.
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