Daxton Box

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Thursday, April 22, 2010

Overcast

Today I was holding Isabella. 

And I cried. 

I cried because she is here and Daxton is not. 

I cried because my friend's little girl was Isabella's age when she passed away. 

I cried because my baby was just a baby when he was taken from me. 

I cried for all those mothers who have lost babies. 

I cried because even though I have lost one baby, I still fear losing another.

I cried because Isabella shouldn't be SO spoiled. She should have a brother to share the spoiling with.

It was a lot of tears. 

But I feel better. 

Squeeze those little ones. Even when  they are underfoot and driving you koo koo! 
Actually, especially when they are driving you koo koo. 

You never know......

7 comments:

Kami Milliron said...

I feel the same way when I hold my sweet Josh. It makes me think of Elizabeth. Thank you for your words and total honesty. I appreciate you sharing your experience with us.

jen said...

Sorry today was so hard. Someday . . . just . . .

Rusty and Jacquie said...

The other night I started to cry...then it became a sobbing and then ridiculous! I look and sound like a crazy lady with snot going everywhere. It is not fun AT ALL...to MISS your little buddy and feel like their life was so quick it was like a dream. I am going to squeeze my babies extra tight when they get here...and that is ok.

Sorry you hurt. It's ok to hurt. it just is the hard part.

Bean said...

I'm so sorry Britt!!! I love you so much. My kids were looking at pictures the other day and saw Daxton. They were asking when they could see him again. A little while later, I was in the kitchen and Aspyn was saying she couldn't wait to go to heaven and see Daxton and play with him. I love you so much! I truly hurt for you and Doug. My mom told to me once, it's okay to just climb into bed and cry. Sometimes a good cry makes you feel better for just a little while.
Love you,
Megan

Stef said...

So sorry. I bet that whole process is a tough one. I have no idea...but pray the road will get easier.

Margaret said...

As I was putting Isabella down last night,, i had those same thoughts. Thinking "what would I be doing right now if Daxton were on the other side of the door". I almost said something before I left, but didn't..little did I know you were having those same thoughts. hmmmmm. maybe he was there... Love you..

marinda said...

britt-
you're in our thoughsts & prayers.
we went to a funeral of our friends yesterday and their sweet little baby died at 5 months old. oh he was so beautiful-long black hair and long eye lashes. i thought of you and doug the whole time- lots of tears-lots of prayers-
we love you guys
our Heavenly Father loves you
Daxton loves you and is waiting for you i'm sure
love ya
marinda