I recently read on a blog that we "choose" our trials before we come to this earth from Heaven. I am not so sure that I necessarily agree with this. Ok I actually disagree with this. I am sure that nobody up in Heaven said... "OK here is a list of all the trials known to man, go ahead and pick 20." No thanks, but if I have my way, I am refusing to participate in this activity.
While I have pondered why we are given the trials in our lives and if we have "chosen" them before we came to earth, I remember a conversation I had with Doug a few weeks after Daxton died. I had been thinking why in the world this had happened, if I had agreed to this trial, and if I actually had agreed to lose a child, what in the world was I thinking???!!!! Doug simply explained that when we had agreed to return our son back to our Father in Heaven, we had an eternal and perfect understanding of the Plan of Salvation. We knew then that it wouldn't be very long before we saw him again.
Back to selecting our trials. Our Father knows each of us individually. I can't explain why children all over the world are sent to families who will never be able to give them what they need, while some families are not given any or some of those are taken away. Father in Heaven knows what we need. I think that before we came to earth, He had already figured out the challenges, trials, and tribulations we would have in order to help us to grow to our full potential.
These trials that may or may not have been "preselected" if you will do not include those that we bring upon ourselves through our own free agency. If we choose to not follow the commandments of God, then the consequences we may suffer are due to our own free will and choice. We bring the consequences of our actions upon ourselves. These consequences may result in more trials, heartache, and sorrow than we initially may have agreed to.
I know our Father in Heaven is mindful of each of us. He knows what we need to learn and grow. He knows what we need to grow closer to Him and to his gospel. He knows our questions, thoughts, and what our hearts desire. If we turn to Him and His perfect knowledge and Gospel, in our times of need, He will help us to make it through each day.
PS: Maybe if a big pot of trials were placed in front of me, I would have picked my own, but it certainly wouldn't have been this one, or many of the other trials I have faced :)
7 comments:
You know that quote, "I never said it would be easy. I just said it would be worth it." that tons of people use? Well, no one ever said that! I think sometimes things are said to help people, and while they are nice, I'm not sure how much gospel truth there is to the sayings.
I'm glad you have a such strong testimony of the important things! We are still praying for you and your family.
Are you feeling well with the pregnancy?
As always, you express yourself so beautifully (I read more often than I comment, by the way).
I have often heard the same saying and also have mixed emotions about it. But I sometimes wonder if, in the pre-existence, Heavenly Father may have told those of us who have lost children something like,"Hey, I've got this great kid for your family but I'm going to need him back sooner than the rest." (In your case, much sooner). And yet, I would still want my BJ just as you are grateful for Daxton, even though we didn't get to keep them with us.
Congratulations on the new little one coming along. You have to know that Daxton will be giving her all the little details that she should know before joining your family. We see BJ’s “stamp” all over these little nieces and nephews that have come to earth since he left and the sweetest thing is how they light up (even when very young) at his picture on the wall and say his name and point to him as if they remember him well.
Take care, my sweet young friend. You are such a great mom and I love what you write here on your blog.
Blessings,
Stephanie
I'm pretty sure I play a big role in one of the challenges you have had to face here on this earth. For some reason I think about that more now than I ever have before. I ask myself alot of the same questions I know you ask yourself. Why does she have such hard trials?? I have to say I agree with you when you say you don't think we choose our trials before we come. Why in the world would you have chosen these things for yourself....I guess we won't have all the answers till the day we are able to sit face to face with our father in heaven and ask these questions. All the sorry's in the world won't change the past but you know I love you to pieces and pray life will get easier for you!!
Loves!!!
Hi you don't know me, I knew your sister years ago and read your blog almost every day. A friend of ours lost their little girl this summer (Jen and Ethan Larsen) I think you might know them. Reading your blog and reading Jen's helps me so much. I learn so much from you both every time I read. I'm with you on the picking your trials idea. I'm not buying it. One thing that I do like to think though is, maybe before we all came here your little boy knew he only needed to come to earth for a very short time. He needed to get a body and so he needed someone to be his parents, knowing they would have to go through this. Maybe you raised your hand and said "I love you that much. I will do this for you" Maybe it was your unconditional love for that little boy that is the reason for all of this. I hope that was ok to say, it just helps me to think of it that way. Bless you and your beautiful little family!
You're posts are so inspirational & spiritual. Just to comment on the "Little Missionary" post....through your trials I have become more acquainted with God. I have never prayed more in my life, & I have a new outlook on being mom as well. I know you don't know me, but I feel as though you are part of our family. I think of Daxton daily, as well as your family & hope that the days are good for you. You are forever in our prayers.
~Kristi from WI
I remember asking the same questions of "why me?" and "did I volunteer for this" after we lost our daughter. And was even thinking that I was going to be VERY upset with myself if I had "signed up" to give my daughter back so soon.
But, for me, I actually DID feel that I and her father had agreed to it. Shortly after I was wrestling with this issue, I came across the book: "The Discourses of Wilford Woodruff" where he told a story of a time when he was inquiring of the Lord as to why his son had drown. The answer he received was this: "You are doing a great deal for the redemption of your dead; but the law of redemption requires some of your OWN seed in the spirit world to attend to work connected with this."
My Husband is a convert to the church and the first in his family to be a member. After reading this it only reconfirmed to me that my daughter was going to do the work on the other side that we will be doing here on earth for his deceased family members.
I too don't think (especially knowing the pain it would cause) would have in my earthly state volunteered to give my daughter back so soon. I'm WAY too selfish for that! HA! But after reading this was a little more content in knowing that maybe in my premortal life, when I could see the entire picture, was not so selfish?
I have enjoyed reading your posts and although don't know you personally have thought about you and prayed that you and your family would be comforted through this trial. I hope you don't mind my thoughts on this subject.
~ Becky ~
I do believe I chose to walk the path I am on. Although for the life of me, I can't understand WHY I would chose this.
My mantra is "Someday I will know, someday this will all make sense, I can't wait for the day that I have the answers and understand why this was my life."
I just know that I am going through what I needed to go through to become the child of God that He needs me to be.
I just hope I can live up to my destiny and fulfill my obligations so that my Father is proud of me and I am worthy of raising my daughter in the next life.
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