Trials

Our trip to Havasupai holds a very "odd" spot in my heart, for this was the time that Daxton was taken from us. I can place my footsteps at each minute of the morning on Monday, June 9. Despite my better judgement my mind continually wanders to the morning I was hiking out singing Bon Jovi at the top of my lungs while events transpired as such.

However, we were able to meet some very incredible people along our journey. Sweating and hiking miles on end forms a bond that is unbroken. Among these was a guy named Reuben. His wife who we had not and have not met personally has spent countless hours of her most precious time putting together this phenomenal video with pictures and music to our little chubba wubba's life. I could never thank her enough or ever pay her enough for the kindness she has rendered on behalf of my little angel.

Here is the result of her labors:

Click here

You will need to download Quicktime player if you don't already have it. It takes but a few moments, so while you wait, grab yourself a box of tissues to enjoy 12 minutes of my baby's pictures. It is a real tear jerker. Well for me anyway :).

To visit her website:

Click here for Jen's blog

As I was reading back on previous posts, I came across one that said that I wasn't looking forward to anything that life was going by too quickly and that I just wanted to enjoy every day of it. I believe it was at this time the Lord was preparing me to take my most precious baby away from me. He knew that in order for me to now look back with no regrets that I had to appreciate the moments with Daxton and to not let them pass by to quickly by wishing the days away.

As it is, I have joined a very unique club of men and women who have lost childrent. The bond we share is impenetrable. I would not wish losing a child upon anyone, nor would I wish on them a trial more than they can bear. Which leads me to a thought I have been having. Of course, in any situation, you look around and see others who either have it better or worse or the same as you and you begin to compare (subconsciously of course). You compare houses, clothes, cars, and other things. Then you look a little deeper and you compare trials. They have it harder than you or you have it harder than them. How come they don't get this trial or that trial?

These are unfair and very presumptuous thoughts on my part. How can I look around and say that my "trial" is harder than so and so's trial when their trial to them may be just as hard as my trial to them. When we compare trials and different situations, it is like comparing apples to oranges. There is really no way to compare, let alone know how each person feels about each trial they are facing. What might break me might be fairly easy to someone else.

Our Father in Heaven knows each and every one of us. Our Savior, even Jesus Christ, knows our pains. He knows our sufferings. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He will always be with us in our trials and tribulations. He will never give us more than we can handle (without His help). When we are in our worst moments, He is with us. He helps us along the way. I know in these 7 weeks that my Savior and Father in Heaven have been very close. They have watched over me in my darkest hours. I know they are not very far away and that they will always be with me.