Happy Birthday Chubba Wubba

Today we celebrated Daxton's birthday. It was a good day. It started with some lounging around in the am with the kids. We talked while laying in our bed and the kids all around us about Daxton. What he liked to do. Their memories. Mikenna remembered him climbing on her bunk bed and she yelled for us to come and get him down. That was pretty scary actually. We talked about the walks he loved to go on and check the mail. He loved his get up of the pink stroller and was a sucker for a good walk.

We also talked about ways that we could be able to live with him again. If we choose the right by reading our scriptures and saying our prayers and go to church and listen to our primary teachers, then we could be able to show him how much we love him.

Then on to breakfast... no it wasn't in bed, but it did consist of what the girls said Daxton's favorite breakfast was. Cereal. And since breast milk and rice cereal weren't all that appetizing, cold cereal it was :).

Skipping church was another thing we did, but we listened to two conference talks. One on Christ and His life by Elder Holland and the other on being of good cheer in the good and the bad by President Monson. We then had a little lesson on Families can be Together Forever in the nursery manual. Which seriously is a great tool!!! I like to think it was an appropriately chosen topic. For the activity we wrapped presents that we were giving to one another.

I wanted to do presents but I wasn't sure how. So I borrowed and tweeked a previously used idea. We purchased gifts that reminded us of Daxton and then we had a gift exchange. We went to the cemetery and laid out the blanket. Each of us opened up a gift and as we opened it the person who purchased it told us about why they chose that gift and how it reminded them of Daxton.

Then we released two balloons each and watched them soar into heaven. At least that is where we told the girls they were going. They got a kick out of knowing that Daxton and all his angel friends would be able to play with them.

After the cemetery we went to mom's house for calzones and chocolate cake which seriously hit the spot. Nothing like some chocolate cake to take the edge off and top off a good day. Then we made 5 more Daxton Boxes. We now have about 35 total completed and about 20 incomplete ones. I just found out that my brother's eagle project was noted "one of the best eagle projects he had ever seen." Quite a compliment. Really great!


I actually never did post about his birthday. I thought there would be plenty of time to do it after we got home from Havasupai. Alas, here I am a year later, on his birthday posting about his first and last birthday on this earth. This one is for you little man.

Was it really a year ago today that we celebrated your first birthday. I remember thinking that there would be many birthdays to come so I didn't have to make a big deal about this first one. I worked the weekend before and didn't think it would be a big deal. We celebrated it a day late on June 1st. My sister's birthday.

It was a Sunday. We had lots of cake and ice cream and all the yummy birthday foods. I made him a cake and put newspaper on the floor so that he wouldn't get my mom's floor all dirty. He put his fingers in the cake and wasn't really sure what to make of it. I gave him a few minutes to play around, but he soon found himself uninterested in being dirty... too many girls in the house will do that to you no matter how much boy you are, and I picked him up, licked him off, and threw him in the tub. Then I am sure we snuggled. LOTS. But not enough.

He got a lot of toys for his birthday from Grandma and I got him some clothes and some "practical" items. I think that little train is with him. The girls wanted to put some toys in with him so that he wouldn't get bored. Oh how sweet big sisters are.

If you don't mind I am going to take you on a "Daxton" journey.... This is his first bath with his big sisters and grandma. They loved him from the moment they saw him.

Now this is a horrid picture, but that isn't the point. This is the first time I held my little man. He was so snuggly and cuddly and SUPER wrinkley like a little old man. In just the first few hours he changed so much. He had a ton of hair, almost topping out our little Savannah.

The first time Daddy held him. Isn't he so precious????

And this is his blessing day. Not the best picture in the world, but priceless nonetheless. He is only about 2 months in this picture but he sure looks big!

One of his first pics with Granny and Papa Ryan. They came down for his blessing and just couldn't get enough of him.

The girls were always ready and willing to hold, cuddle, and take care of their little brother. Their favorite thing to do was change his diaper, give him a bath, and chase him around the house when he learned to crawl.

I can't believe how little they all look. Kids just grow up way to fast!

We went to the train park for one of Savannah's Raising Special Kids events. It was quite fun with all the rides, food, and adventures, but the favorite one was definitely the train ride. I am wearing Daxton's favorite necklace. He loved to play with it and put it in his mouth. I put it in his little chubby hands the last time I saw him. I just couldn't bare him not being able to hold my hand, so I gave him a little piece he could hold.

Logan's wedding. Wow, from the outside looking in, one might believe we were the perfect family. Since that is not the case, we will continually strive to be, as we embark on this journey of life and trying to live in such a way that we can be with our beloved son, brother, grandson, nephew.

Daxton never did like anything other than breast milk and cookie dough (seriously can you go wrong?) and so when we tried to feed him rice cereal, it was a total joke! But we had to take pictures to remember the event. At least we tried!

At Phillip's wedding (my bro in law), Daxton was dressed in the cutest little tux and I was wearing a brand new skirt. And well, Daxton just wanted me to remember that day forever and he just blew out his diaper. All over me. All over him. I was sitting in the car and I was really stuck. I didn't even know what to do. I hollered for my sister in law who was just leaving her car and together we cleaned up the mess. I changed into jeans ***this was by the way just in time for pictures. SERIOUSLY. And he was stuck in sweats.

This is the Greatest man we will ever know. My grandpa Walter. I love this picture.

One of the gifts we exchanged tonight was a sticker book. It was rather appropriate and the memory along with it was that Daxton was always covered in stickers. From princess stickers to "good job" stickers to smiley face stickers. His sisters loved to see how they would stick to his forehead and any other place they could find.
yI am in love with this picture. How can something so perfect be so perfect. I sure miss this little face. This little smile. Those chubby cheeks.


Whenever I would get out the camera, Daxton would come crawling. Try as I may I just couldn't scoot back fast enough to get a picture. So they usually ended up really close, because he would just crawl into my lap. Right where I liked him. And right where I miss him.

Ode to the frog that was always in his mouth. I prayed every day he wouldn't choke on this stupid thing. There are 5, from Savannah's school. They were learning about 5 little speckled frogs and were able to bring these little finger puppets home. Well Daxton claimed them as his and you would always see them in his mouth. I carry at least one with me whenever I travel. I just put it in my make up bag and smile (or cry, depending on the day) when I see it.

The Phoenix Suns gorill and my husband (the one on the right, lest you be confused) and baby Daxton. I don't really think he was old enough to know that the gorilla should have really scared the pants off him. Mikenna wouldnt' come within 10 yards of the thing.

Whenever I opened the fridge, Daxton was close to follow. It was not uncommon for the refridgerator door to close on him (or him losing his drawers either).

Oh how my heart aches when I see these sweet pictures. His baby blue eyes, his luscious kissable, oh so kissable lips, his chubby cheeks, and his tiny little man ears. Oh how I miss him.

This beautiful smile. Melts my heart. I was packing for Havasupai and he wanted to eat so I gave him some Jerky. That is what is on his chin.

These pictures were inspired. We took them May 17th of last year. I am so grateful that I was able to have these. They captured his perfection. I remember thinking that I wanted to get pics of my individual kids. It didn't seem like to hard of a request but I felt bad asking. We did Savannah first and then Mikenna. We took some family pics and I really wanted to make sure we were able to get some of Daxton. Obviously I will be forever indebted to the photographer for capturing the life of my little man.

We are reading Dora. I know. Seriously lame. I should crop in the scriptures or something.... but it was a great distraction for little Daxton as reading was one of his favorite things to do. That was another of the gifts today. We were at the store and I asked the girls what they remembered doing with Daxton and they said, reading books, so we chose a book for each of them.

Now the kids are all tucked in bed. All of my mini me's. I love them all. I treasure them all. I wish that there were one more that I could tuck in. I kiss him each night in my dreams. I think about him all day when I am awake. I see him in each one of my girls. I know that one day I will be able to see him. Just not today.

Happy Birthday Chubba Wubba!!!