Truth be Told

I know. It has been awhile since I posted. I do have something to write every day, but truth be told most days I barely have the energy to keep up with the laundry, dishes, kids, and entertaining my new/old friend "grief" that sometimes I just don't get to blogging.

SO I have a few things to catch up on... and then if I can I will post some pics to narrate what we have been up to the last few weeks.

MOVING

Mikenna has unofficially moved into Daxton's old room. It is blue with white stripes. I will likely keep it that way.

One night she out of the blue said, "Daddy I want to sleep in the green room (it used to have a green bed and they called it the green room)." And as an after thought she said, "Then I will be closer to the bathroom so I can go in the middle of the night." (Another on going thing. I am not sure what to do about her not being able to wake herself up in the middle of the night to pee, but hey if I had some adult diapers I suppose I wouldn't get out of bed to pee either).

So began her sleeping in the green room. I think she wants to sleep in there because 1.It is the coldest room in the house in the summer 2. Savannah is on the other side of the gate and will therefore NOT bother her in the wee hours of the morning (we have gates to keep Savannah corralled to a very limited space, but before you call CPS, we are on the same side as she is and it is mainly for her safety) 3. The bed is SUPER comfy and last but not least 4. I do think she misses her brother and the best way she can be closer to him is to sleep in his bed. And so she does.

PACKING

I finally did it. I went through all the girls pants and long sleeves and put them in a bucket. But that isn't where it ended. I put all of Daxton's clothes in a bin. I just threw them all in. I didn't think about it. I was on auto mode.

It would have hurt to much to individually touch and carefully fold each and every shirt that he wore. It would have hurt to much to fold each blanket that he snuggled and slobbered on. It would have hurt to much to fold the tiny little socks that kept his little toesies warm. Or to fold my favorite brown sweater he wore or the white collared onesie he wore for the pictures we got just before he died.

No. I just tossed them carelessly into the bucket so that my heart wouldn't break into a million pieces all over again. And then I put it in the closet. And now, well I look at it and think one day. One day I will have to fold them. One day I will have to take them out and individually fold them and lay them carefully to rest. But not today. Today they sit in a bin, in the closet, waiting until one day when I have the strength to really go through them.

You might wonder why I even emptied the dresser at all. Well I am in transition. We are busting at the seams in our little house and I need to make room for Mikenna and Isabella to share a room. I am just about ready to have Isabella in a different room than me so that I can get some sleep and I am certainly not going to put her in a room by herself. So here is me. Getting ready to do some changing. Change is good. We just don't always like it. :)