These words

Today I need these words. I often post what I need to hear myself. What I need to learn or relearn. I was reading in Fran Hafen's, Joy Cometh in the Morning, and came across some thoughts that I REALLY needed to hear last night. After a slew of "good" days, I had a really bad one. These are the words and thoughts I wanted to share.

The only way I get through the day is the Doctrine AND prayer of course. The Doctrine that I will raise him if I am worthy.

That “all person’s born on this earth will be resurrected… [and his] spirit and body shall be reunited again in its perfect form; both limb and joint shall be restored to its proper frame.” (Alma 11:42-45)

President Joseph F. Smith taught: “The body will come forth as it is laid to rest, for there is no growth or development in the grave. As it is laid down, so will it arise, and changes to perfection will come by the law of restitution. But the spirit will continue to expand and develop, and the body, after resurrection, will develop to the full stature of man.”

This and prayer are what get me out of bed in the morning. Without this knowledge that I would see and raise my son, (just not now) I would surely break in two.

The promise from Joseph Smith: “The mother who laid down her little child, being deprived of the privilege, the joy, and the satisfaction of bringing it up to manhood or womanhood in this world, would, after the resurrection, have all the joy, satisfaction, and pleasure, and even more than it would have been possible to have had in mortality, in seeing her child grown to the full measure of stature of its spirit… When she does it there, it will be with the certain knowledge that the results will be without failure; whereas here, the results are unknown until after we have passed the test.”

Of course I will only be given this chance if I live worth and righteously. I read something the other day again by Joseph Smith, “if parents are righteous [they can raise their children]… Little children who die, whose parents are not worthy of an exaltation, will be adopted into families of those who are worthy.”

While some of this is abstract at times for me, in order for me to maintain a certain measure of assurance and sanity, I cling to the promises made to me. It also inspires me to continue to muddle my way through life doing the best that I can in order to live with my son again.

For those of you who read this who have lost a child, I couldn't read doctrine for a long time, it just hurt to much to read much more than a no brainer, escape novel. I recently picked this up and have just plowed through it.