"Why me" vs. "Why not me?"

So I have been reading or skimming a book called "The Life Beyond" by Robert Millet and Joseph McConkie. In it there is a chapter titled "When children die." I had been pondering a thought "why me?" A perfectly valid thought, but selfish at best. I have been corresponding with another mom who has lost her baby and she made a comment, "why not me?"

In the book I was reading a particularly interesting part... and I quote:

"Why do some children die and others live? Lacking a memory of what went on before... we as Latter day saints are not in a position to provide all the answers to all the questions that might arise. We rest secure in the knowledge that God is our Father, that he is intimately acquainted with each of us, that he knows the end from the beginning.... We rest secure in the knowledge that God knows what is best for each of us, and that he will bring to pass those conditions which will maximize our growth and further our opportunities for exaltation.

An eye of faith provides a heavenly perspective. Joseph the Seer asked, "Why is it that infants, innocent children, are taken away from us, especially those that seem to be the most intelligent and interesting?" ... he found a partial answer to this most difficult question, "The strongest reasons that present themselves to my mind are these: This world is a very wicked world; and it is a proverb that the 'world grows weaker and wiser'; if that is the case, the world grows more wicked and corrupt. In the earlier ages of the world a righteous man, and a man of God and of intelligence, had a better chance to do good, to be believed and received than at the present day; but in these days such a man is opposed and persecuted by most of the inhabitants of the earth, and he has much sorrow to pass through here."

I have decided I am the type of person who is always up for a challenge. I decided it would be fun to run a marathon... ok done! I thought it would be a good idea to go to nursing school with 2 kids and one on the way... done! I like to have a full plate and I like to keep busy. I am happiest when I have stuff to do and deadlines to make.

The other day I was talking with a friend of mine and I mentioned that I am always up for a challenge. Seems as though Father in Heaven also thought I was up for a challenge. I imagine (well my dad imagined in his talk at the funeral) that in Heaven, before we came to earth Father in Heaven and I had a conversation that went something like this.

"Brittany, I have a very important task for you. I want you to raise my special spirits. I am going to send you 2 extra special ones, one will stay try your patience and you will learn and grow from her, she will teach you to love, and teach you to laugh. I will let her stay with you for most of your mortal life. I will also send you a special little boy. He will be with you for only a short while for I have a mission planned for him here with me. It won't be easy. Are you up for the challenge?"

"Yes Father, but I will need your help. Your son sacrificed his life for me so that we can be together forever as a family. I will need you to listen when I cry, I will need you to help me endure the pain and heartache that I am sure to feel. I will need my son to comfort me when I need him most. Please Father."

Then there was a voice in the background, "Father, can I help?"

"Yes, Lauralie. You can."

And so it is. I know Daxton is serving a mission in Heaven and he is helping me serve a mission here. All of my brothers and sister have served missions and I will be the only one in my family who was unable to serve a full time mission in my "youth." I now know what my mission is.

One more quote if I may,

Elder Bruce R. McConkie said: "There are certain spirits who come into this life only to receive bodies; for reasons that we do not know, but which are known in the infinite wisdom of the Eternal Father, they do not need the testing, probationary experiences of mortality. We come here for two great reasons- the first, to get a body; the second, to be tried, examined, schooled, and tested under mortal circumstances, to take a different type of probationary test than we underwent in the pre-(earth) life. There are some of the children of our Father, however, who come to earth to get a body- for that reason solely. They do not need the testings of his mortality."