I believe that I am entitled to have crabby days, sad days, days I just want to yell and scream and cry, and days that I am mad at people for no apparent reason. And then I believe that I should post those days, otherwise my fellow bloggers would think me super woman or extremely strong and courageous, and we don't want them to get the wrong idea (smile), or maybe we do (smile again).
However, I also believe that when I do post an albeit depressing, but realistic post, that I should follow it up with a more uplifting one to let friends, family, and fellow bloggers know I have pulled my head out of the water and am ready to breathe again.
As I was scrapbooking pages last night of Daxton's life, I was listening to the funeral (yes, I had a good cry, got some of it out) and as I listened to my dad's talk, his words touched me like they have the many times I have listened to it before. He says (and I paraphrase) that this is a trial that I (he) has been given and while it is not one he would have chosen for any of us, with all that he has been taught, with all that he has been blessed, now is the time to cling to the gospel truths he has been taught his whole life, to realize the blessings that have been given him and the many times his life has been spared. Now is the time to look back on our lives and see how we have grown to rely on the Spirit and trust in our Father in Heaven.I know I have been blessed. I know that the hand of my Father in Heaven has been in my life at the times when I needed Him most, even when I needed Him less, He has always been there. Someday when I am an old lady, sitting in my rocking chair with my old lady girlfriends, we will look back at this period of our lives and realize that there were only one set of footprints in the sand. We will also realize that there really are angels among us, that Daxton was here to walk beside us when we felt we couldn't go on, to give us an encouraging word or push or pull.
I know that day will come when I will wrap my arms around my little angel boy and we will exchange many stories and create many memories.... I just hope that day comes sooner rather than later :).loves to all
10 comments:
Beautifully said. I read your blog daily, as I do "A Daily Scoop," to be inspired to be a better mother. I cannot fathom the pain either of you have had to bear, but I am so happy that each of you have had the courage to turn to Christ in this time of darkness. He is the Light and the Life, and there is just one set of footprints in the sand. I know it does not make the hurt and anger disappear, but I pray that it makes it a little easier to endure.
Your words are beautiful, and I am glad to read that you are human. We are allowed to mourn, throw fits, hurt, cry, and move through this trial. At least we have the knowledge that our Father in Heaven is right there beside us, probably crying with us and holding us in the hollow of His hand.
I found your blog through different people and you don't know me but I pray for you daily and can not even imagine what you are going through. You have made me see past all the struggles in life and I praise you for that. Stay strong and grieve with HOPE!! LOVE YOU AND PRAY FOR YOU!!
I can't get over how cute he is!
You are a lucky mom to have had him as a son.
Glad today was a little better.
hugs and kisses.
Britt,
Even on the bad days, you amaze me. Your are a superwoman...but I knew that before any of the trials came to you. You've always had some kind of greatness about you. That's why I've always liked you!
Love-
Summer
He is so gorgeous!
I love those pictures. They are so cute!He is so precious I love reading your blog. You always amaze me.I love you
You are entitled to good days, bad days, crabby days, fun days, exciting days, depressing days etc. You have an understanding of the gospel and our Heavenly Fathers plan that is truly amazing. Going through the Emotions and not merely going through the motions is how we grow in this earthly life. Thank you for your posts. It may help you to put your feelings into writing but it also helps untold others. In coping or merely helping them appreciate what they have in life.
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I can't imagine the pain you may sometimes feel! Please know that you our in our prayers. And remember that you have a chubby blue eyed angel that watches over your family! He is adorable. You are a very strong woman! Hang in there and know that there is love and support coming from all over.
You have such a sweet and beautiful way of writting, just like Stef. I can not even begin to imagine what it feels like to have such a huge part of you taken away. I am sure at times it is hard to "let" yourself have fun. Please know that you are in my heart and prayers. Families are Forever!!! This is poem that I love that a friend fighting stomach cancer passed on to me.I think that you are a great example of this!!
Because I call it a Challenge
BECAUSE I CALL IT A CHALLENGE RATHER THAN A CRISIS;
BECAUSE I LOOK AT HARDSHIP AS OPPORTUNITY INSTEAD OBSTACLE;
BECAUSE AT THE END OF A MATTER,I ASK, "WHAT WILL I LEARN FROM THIS TO MAKE ME BETTER?";
BECAUSE I TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND DO THE DIFFICULT THING FIRST;
BECAUSE MY COURAGE DOES NOT DEPEND ON THE WEATHER, THE ECONOMIC FORECAST OR THE WINDS OF WHIM;
BECAUSE I KNOW THE MOST SIGNIFICANT ELEMENTS IN MY DAY ARE LAUGHTER, LEARNING AND APPLYING MY FINEST EFFORTS TO EACH ENDEAVORS;
BECAUSE OF THESE THINGS EACH MORNING IS A PLEASURE AND EVERY DAY PASSED IS A SUCCESS-----MARY ANNE RADMACHE
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