Time

Some say time heals all things.

Some say absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I say that time separates me and my little guy. Time. From now until then. That is what separates us.

I know I will see him again. I know I will be able to raise him, but for now time stands in the middle. Just time.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like it I had Daxton and Isabella BOTH. I think I would be crazy having a toddler and a baby under foot, but I think I would be able to do it.

I am sure it would be hard, but I think it is harder to NOT have him. It is harder to look at Isabella and know that she has an older brother that should have been there to watch over her and protect her.

I used to wonder what a big brother would have been like. Now I wonder what a big brother for Isabella would have been like. Alas, although we cannot see him with our eyes, we can feel him with our hearts. We know that he is watching over us in Heaven, likely better than he could have watched over us on earth, but still.... I must be selfish :).

I do look at each of my children differently. I love them more. Appreciate them more. Not that I didn't used to, but now I know how easily they can be taken away. And that is not easily forgotten.

And so it is. This thing called Time. Separating us.