Well there have been some real on and off moments lately. I didn't realize the effect that having a baby in the house again would have on me. People ask how is '3?' My response is 'a lot like the last time I had 3.' And then 'awkward.' The thing is.... I know how to manage 3. I have done it once already and now I 'get' to do 3 again. I would really like to do 4 though.
You may all have heard about the woman in California who had 8 babies. Ya. Crazy. Well we were putting the girls to bed and Doug said, 'How do you think this process would go if we had 14 kids?' To which I replied, 'I would just take 4.' Let's not get too greedy here :). Anyhow, a nostalgic moment.
Some similarities and memories if you will indulge me:
Isabella lays by the girls before she goes to bed, just like Daxton.
I nurse Isabella and hold her on the couch the same way I did with Daxton.
Mikenna tends Isabella, just like she did with Daxton, but now she is bigger so she can help even more.
I read to the girls, just like I did with Daxton and the girls before bed time.
Savannah still gives the same 'not-so-soft' kisses to Isabella that she gave Daxton.
Each time I sit on my bed to pump, I look at Daxton's pictures on the wall. Maybe I should move them because I usually get weepy.
I had a brother get married a little after Daxton was born and now I have another one getting married... just a little after Isabella was born.
I bathe Isabella the same way I bathed Daxton. On the counter. And when I am through she lays there while I get ready, just like Daxton.
Isabella sleeps better than Daxton did....
We have her crib in a different section of our room. Away from the blinds...
I say 'girls'... and each time notice I didn't say 'kids.' Now I have all living girls.
Isabella is such a sweetie. It is nice to have a baby in our home again. The void for Mikenna and Savannah has been filled I think. They still always talk about Daxton, but I think their arms are less empty. They have a baby to look at in the mornings when they wake up. They have a baby to hold when they get home from school. Savannah fetches diapers and wipes to change a baby, and Mikenna gets to feed a baby and pick out her clothes and help give her a bath.
The other day, Savannah said, 'Mommy, I want to hold chubba wubba baby sister.' We called Daxton chubba wubba.
5 comments:
It sounds like you're in a in-between state.
I love you and will pray for you and your heart.
You have such a precious family. Very touching post, as they all are....almost bitter-sweet.
yes i would settle for 4, but we dont get to settle anymore do we. love you
Just want you to know I've been thinking of you the last couple of days. Chubba Wubba baby sister is cute, I like that.
They are recognizing the blessing of a new life, while at the same time reminding themselves of their sweet brother.
I may be masochistic, but I can't seem to stop myself from reading! I admit, I am panicking slightly (okay, more than that) imagining changing diapers and getting out the baby crib again.
Anyway...you're on my mind these days.
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