All of my siblings have now officially served missions (one is currently starting his adventure), and I am officially the only of the 5 of us who hasn't. How do I feel about that? I am Totally Okay with it.
I figure at this point I have served several missions, and someday when I am OLD I will serve with my hubby. We can do that ya know. Serve missions with our spouses. :)
I have been thinking a lot about missions lately. My youngest brother Daniel just entered the MTC yesterday. I have mixed feelings about it. I am happy, sad, excited, and terrified for him. He will be serving in the Lisbon, Portugal mission. It will be an opportunity for him to learn and grow, meet new people, learn to get along with those he doesn't like, learn a language, and most importantly, teach the gospel to many who may not have otherwise been taught.
I am sad because he is the baby. He isn't so much MY baby, but he is the youngest sibling, the most spoiled, and lets be honest here. He is the favorite uncle to my babies. This is because from the time they are small, he holds them, totes them, listens to music with them, plays video games with them on his lap, and whenever I find myself in a bind, I call Danny. I had one of those moments today. One where I was in a bind and needed to call him.......
I digress. Daxton loved Daniel. In his short life, they were inseparable. Whenever I would go to my mom's, Daxton would jump out of my arms and into Daniel's, only to come back when we left the house. Isabella is the same way. There are only a handful of people that she will go to from me. Or too for that matter. And Daniel is one of them. She loves him and when we go to my mom's, she looks for him. It's sweet. She usually finds him........
Daniel is going to be gone for two years. Isabella will forget him. The girls will vaguely remember him, but their memories will be refreshed.
Daxton has been gone for 2 years and a few days. I should have received several phone calls and picked him up from the airport by now. His mission should be finished. Completed. We should be getting to know each other all over again. Alas. His mission is not complete. And neither is mine :).
But one day, our missions will be complete. We will reunite again. My girls will once again remember the brother lost. Isabella will get to know the brother she didn't meet on this earth. Perhaps their spirits know each other. Perhaps she does know him already.
I like to think that Daxton is busy, that he has a calling, that he too is waiting for the day we will see each other again. Perhaps, he will be serving right along his Uncle Danny.
Someday. Just not today.
4 comments:
I get upset when Mothers...look me straight in the eyes and tell me they totally understand how I am feeling because they got to send their sons off on a 2 year mission! I really want to bring a finger to my eyeball and scream....TEAR!!!! These same Mothers are counting down the days and months until their sons get to come home. I get silently stew about this for days...okay longer...I have no idea when my Son will be home from his mission? Or who, what, where and when he is doing what ever. I do not get Wednesday emails. I do not get called up once a month in Fast and Testimony meeting to read a wonderful letter from my son. I am sorry Mothers its really not the same even though it is serving in Heavenly Fathers Kingdom!
My son is buried on top of his 21 year old Uncle. He has been gone almost 12 years. My Mother and law counts how many Missions he has served. She tells people that Kenny has almost served 6 full time faithful missions! I know Kenny and Sage are serving together somewhere...
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Love and hugs and prayers go out to you and your family.
You know, there have been several times in my life where I felt my heart brake, or engulfed by the shadow of the mountain in front of me. No thought, or scripture, or encouraging word would help, so I´d turn to the Lord with my tears. Then my brother whom I never met here would come to me. His arms around me, I feel so close. For as long as I needed. Then something would happen, words can´t describe, and even though I would still want things to happen my way, I could trust those hard words from the Savior that all these things shall give thee experience and shall be for thy good. ...And I move forward.
So, lest you really do have any doubt that your girls´ spirits know Daxton, I´ll add my testimony of the bond between brother and sister... Beyond death. Beyond anything. Daxton will not be a stranger in the slightest when you finally gather as a whole family again.
I so remember how you talked of your little brother--and Daxton being buddies! Good memories.
You are an example and a pillar of strength to me on how to deal with heartbreak. I know that doesn’t help you very much with your heartbreak right now, with me telling you that. But maybe it does, knowing that you have helped me without even realizing it.
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