Let it be known: I am in NO way shape or form grateful that my little chubba wubba died. HOWEVER, I am grateful for all I have been blessed with since he died.
I have been able to renew friendships.
I have started a blog that will be a journal and a keepsake for me and my family.
I have had my cousin Brooke visit me 2 times in one year!!!!!
I have had my in laws come down to see our house and where we live and what we do. (And it has been SO much fun)
I have had a beautiful new baby Isabella who has been truly a blessing in our lives.
I appreciate my girls more.
I don't take for granted what is right in front of me.
I enjoy the "now" and don't "wish" away the time.
My testimony has been strengthened.
I have been able to learn many new "projects" or "homemaking" skills if you will, (although I really could do without them, if I had my little man)
There is a deeper love in my home.
There is a deeper appreciation for life.
There is an increase in compassion for others.
When I hear of a tragedy, I don't just think about it in passing, I mourn for those involved in the tragedy.
I have more empathy.
I have experienced the depths of depression and come out on top (a number of times).
I have more compassion towards those who suffer from depression.
I have co-created a "Daxton Box" so that other families might know they are not alone.
I have met so many wonderful new people, made so many new lifelong friends, and hopefully touched the lives of others for the better.
I have knowledge of the Plan of Salvation, that it is real, and that I will be able to return to my son and raise him some day.
I have a deeper love for my husband and my family.
I mourn for those that mourn and try to comfort those who need to be comforted.
I wish every day that I could bring him back, that I could rewind the clock nearly 10 months and do it all differently, but alas, it isn't so. I hope that when I do see Daxton again, that I will be worthy to raise him, that his life will have been worth being taken from me, that I will be a better person for enduring such a tragedy.
These are the blessings I am grateful for.
8 comments:
Perspective is a gift that is often bestowed through experience.
Thanks, Britt.
Brit thank you for haring this with all of us. I felt the spirit reading your post and I have learned from your experience. I can not imagine your loss or pain and I have read so many stories of families who have experienced similar loss. Thank you for helping me to grow and be a better person.
You have definitely touched my life for the better. YOU have been a blessing to me. I don't take one moment for granted with my little ones. Even though I have not felt the pain of losing a child, I have mourned for you many times praying to take some of your pain away. Thank you for sharing your blog & for being so candid. You may not even know what a blessing YOU & your family have been for others.
No one will ever fully understand the sorrow of a mother who has lost a small child. Good days, bad days, it doesn't really matter. What amazes me about you is your ability to continue on when you are having a bad day, and when you are having a good day. Not even a year after your baby's death, you can start to see some positive in the experience. For most women, this never happens. May the Lord bless you and your family with strength and courage to continue.
I am grateful for you. I am grateful you made this list. I just might do the same.
You have a beautiful list and it's probably time I made one, too. Today is my sixth month mark...and besides needing a nap and being a little cranky today, I'm okay. And my two year old got a froggy potty today which he actually used 7 or 8 times. So we did the potty success dance. There really are good times amidst the bad ones. One day we'll be reunited with our little guys and get to hold them again. And until then, our Heavenly Father has blessings for us along the way.
Can I send a $20.oo check to you for the boxes? I look up to you and know that so many of us will go threw our trials and remember how strong you are and all the many blessing thay have come into your life because of your great faith! You make me so proud me be a member of the only true gospel- i know I am deeply blessed!!
And it is your attitude and willingness to accept the Lord's will that has made these blessings available to you.
I hope we would all be as faithful.
=)
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