About 10 years ago, my uncle died. There were several women at the time who had all lost their husbands within a short period of time. They all began hanging out together. Going on trips together. Getting lunch together. Relying on each other.
At the time, I thought this was rather hmmmm comical? interesting? morbid? I mean (at the ripe ol smart age of 19) weird!!!! Why would you all want to get together and have a cry a fest. Get over it. Move on.
Boy was I wrong. These women had a common bond. Something that many women had suffered before, but they were suffering now. They were in this together. They were grieving together. They were sharing their good days and buoying each other up on their bad days.
Physically painful: there were many mornings I couldn't get out of bed because it hurt so much, callings at church I hung on to by a thread because I couldn't do more than just show up, my house went to ... well... it was a mess because it just was too hard.
Devastating. I lost my right arm. Literally. Where my right arm held an infant, it was lost. Gone. Forever.
Lest I go back to that traumatizing day or last year..... AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN, I will refer you to June 2008 if my blog.
However, through all of that pain, devastation, 'hardness,' I have met the most talented, fascinating, strong, devoted, beautiful women. EVER. Not. Even. Joking. They are what get me through the hard times. They are the ones that are in this WITH me. They are the ones I call on when I can't/couldn't endure one more hard day.
About every 6 months, we all get together and have lunch. We don't necessarily talk about our losses. It is just where we all can go to a 'safe' place if you will. We can speak openly, candidly. Sometimes we have new 'angel moms' and sometimes we have the old ones. :). But each time, I leave feeling a little bit better. A little bit stronger. A little more like I can go on. If 'so and so' can do it, so can I. If they can make it through the first year, so can I. It is funny now, because I am now the "oldest" angel mom in our little group.
It wasn't so long ago that I felt alone. That no one had done this before me. Yet here I am. Surrounded by these amazing women. Women I never would have met if Daxton hadn't passed away (which no offense I would give up our friendships.... and truth be told, they would too :)). Yet again. Here I am. Amidst greatness. I don't attest to being anything great. But I am sure glad that I have others I can look to for strength.
SO thanks girls. Thank. You. So. Much.
6 comments:
I am going to be honest Brittany. I left there and couldn't help myself to cry. Why we all have this hard trial...I am not sure. You coming into my life what seems like forever ago was truely a blessing from our Heavenly Father. You are the friend I talk about...the sweet friend who has loved me for me and has put your heart and arms out for me! You amaze me in so many ways...truely you do! How grateful I am to my Heavenly Father for sending me an "angel" like you to help me through such a time like this in my life. Oh what we would do to hold our little ones again...I am sure we would all give up our friendships...but I am so so so very grateful for the support you have shown me. It gives me strength...
For every trial/heartache there is some sort of silver lining that we have to have in order to move, to function, to continue. You are a blessing to many like others are to you. I am glad you have your "girls" also.
You ARE great! I'm really grateful for your friendship and example (in lots of ways) to me and I think it's awesome that those angel moms get to gain from your greatness too!
Love and miss you! We're coming down in Feb and since we're flying we hope to have time to stop by and see the girlies! I'll be in tough.
Oh I know that it was a great time, it always is. I agree with everything you said about these women. I am so sad that I missed out this time. I hope you all know how much I missed and love all of you girls. These are friendships that last into the eternities.
I'm glad were friends Brittany.
Love Ya!
Jen
I was so disappointed I couldn't come this time! I seriously would've dragged myself out the door if I had felt anywhere near mediocre, but I was flat in bed sick! :( I was looking forward to it so much the last couple months...we'll have to do it more often, I think. I would like to anyway! With the husbands, this time maybe?? My kids benefited a lot from hanging out at the park that one day, too...just knowing there are other kids going through the loss of a baby brother/sister, too.
~Bethany
Thank-you for your understanding. I am sorry and yet grateful fo the experiences that you and I have learned and are learning. Not fun at most times. I try to always remember that there is someone greater thatn I that said I can do this. So I pick myself up again and make it through one more day. You are an awesome wife, mom, sister, aunt and niece. Love you tons. Aunt LeAnn
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