Humility

Ok so I have really been blog slacking lately. But it's a new month! And I am going to do better :). So here goes.

Last week at institute I pondered a scripture and a question.

The Scripture:

In Alma 32:6 it reads:

"And now when Alma heard this, he turned him about, his face immediately towards him, and he beheld with great joy, for he beheld that their afflictions had truly humbled them, an dthat they were in a preparation to hear the word."

And the question:

Think about a time when you were truly humbled and how were you prepared to hear "the word."

Ok the answer is obviously obvious. I was sitting in class and before I knew it my hand was in the air. I even told the teacher, "Let the class continue thinking whilst I gather my thoughts." But alas, it was too late. I had been called on and all eyes were on ME. UGH. What had I done? I surely wished at that moment that I could melt into the hard plastic chair I was sitting on. However, at that moment, it was my very UNmelted behind that was sitting in the hard plastic chair.

So I shared. I don't usually "share" because people don't really understand, and fortunately they don't. They also can't relate.

Owell. I shared anyway. I shared that 2 years and 7 months ago, I lost my only son. I told how I was chopped off at the knees and couldn't get out of bed for anything. The grief that consumed my every thought and every action. The grief I thought would never let up. The grief that literally crippled me (and still does) more days than not.

I was humbled. To the very core of my soul. I can't think of anything that would have humbled me so quickly. And I was ready. I was ready to learn. I was prepared to learn. There are a thousand different trials I would have rather learned from, but this is the one that Father in Heaven saw fit to teach me with. As I was humbled in those deep dark hours that I spend in my closet and on my knees, there was much learned.

My knowledge in the Plan of Salvation was made concrete. I no longer had faith. I knew. I know.

My knowledge in the Atonement was expanded. I not only had faith that my Savior died for me, but I knew that He died for me. That He suffered as I was/ do suffer. That when No One else knows what and how I feel, He does. He became one of my best friends (along with my husband of course). But even Doug didn't KNOW exactly how I was feeling. But my older brother did. And He is always right there with me.

My knowledge that families are eternal was cemented as I muddled through the most difficult questions. I know that I will see my Daxton again. I know that I will raise him. I know that we will all be together as a family again. SOMEday, just not today.

And that my friends is what I shared when I was humbled to the very core.