Yesterday was Sunday and one of my very kind friends who lets me pretend that her baby is mine on occasion called me to see if I would watch her little boy during one of the classes. Of course I said YES!!! He is the cutest most adorable little boy (aside from mine :)) and how could a girl say no to such blue eyes.
He came to me asleep. I laid him in my arms. It felt so natural. I really had to try to hold it together. Wiping my tears and my nose became almost too much for me, almost had to leave the Primary room. As I held him in my arms while he was sleeping, I thought, "I should be holding Daxton. I should be holding MY baby." And immediately the thought came to me with a peace only from our Father in Heaven, "No, you shouldn't be holding Daxton. He was never meant to stay here very long. You had him as long as you were supposed to."
And so I realize. Daxton was here for the time that he was supposed to be, not a moment longer I might add. While I miss him terribly, I know that he is performing a greater work in Heaven. Just thought I would share.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Personal Revelation
My cousin asked me my thoughts on this topic and for some reason I think better when writing on my blog. I just finished making 2 batches of rolls and I really hope that they rise good enough for me to use in the am, because I really want to make cinnamon rolls and the rolls you roll in LOTS of butter. I was having a bit of trouble with the yeast. You see, I bought a jar from Safeway, opened it, and then put in on the shelf in the pantry. Doug walked in one day and said, "You know, if you put yeast in the pantry and not in the fridge it will go bad." So I put it in the fridge (a little to late).
So the next day or so, I went to Walmart and bought a jar of yeast (for NO kidding 1/3 the cost I paid at Safeway) and promptly put it in the fridge after use. Well since I am SUCH a genius, I left both bottles in there and didn't bother to toss the "bad" one away. Seriously I just couldn't stomach tossing the bottle that cost me 3X as much away. I couldn't do it.
That leads me to tonight.... I was making this batch of rolls trying to figure out which yeast was bad and which one wasn't. Nobody but me knows I am making these rolls, so they won't know any different if they turn and crappy and in the garbage, but I KNOW that I made them and it was hard work, so I would like them to turn out :).
On to personal revelation.... we will see how we can tie all this together (LOL). First of all, if we aren't worthy of living with the Spirit then we are unable to receive personal revelation for ourselves, our family, our children, our circumstances, or anything for that matter. Much like the dead yeast. It no longer works and you get bad or no rolls at all. (a stretch I know).
Interestingly enough when I was cooking I thought to myself, "you bought that at Safeway and you have some other in the pantry from there. It was all the same brand, so if you can find it you will know which brand you bought where and the one from Safeway is the 'bad' one." I looked in the pantry and sure enough the one I had used on my rolls was from Walmart... or the good one.
Personal Revelation? Sure. I think that we don't necessarily need BIG revelations. A lot of little ones will help us gain a testimony. I run. My dad runs (or used to) It is our time to think, ponder, and we have both received countless numbers of personal revelation while running. I would also ask my dad to do a 'gut check' for me. He would fast, pray, or whatever he had to do and get back to me, with a verdict on my question.
Throughout my life I have had a number of personal revelations, albeit through the still small voice and personal prayer. I don't believe very many people receive personal revelation through angels, or the Heavens opening, or visions. Personally, I don't think very many people could handle it. However, I am simple. I just like simple answers to 'simple' questions.
From a very young age, I knew that I would have a 'special needs' child. I didn't know what the special need would be, who it would be, or if it would be a girl or a boy. I just knew. And then I had Savannah and it was made sure. The moment I saw Doug walk into my physics class at BYU-Idaho, I knew he was the one (I just needed to convince him :)).
When I left for Havasupai, I knew something very bad was going to happen. I would check my gut every night and was relieved when I felt peace. And then something bad did happen. Something tragic happened. I knew that I would come out of it. I knew that I would be able to survive it, to survive the death of my baby. I work towards it every day. Someday I will look back and see all the bitter and the sweet.
I know that each of us is capable in some shape, form, or fashion to have a personal revelation from our Father in Heaven. It is His way of communcating with us. It is His way of showing us He loves us and wants us to be happy. I don't know if this answers my cousin's question, but that is my answer :).
So the next day or so, I went to Walmart and bought a jar of yeast (for NO kidding 1/3 the cost I paid at Safeway) and promptly put it in the fridge after use. Well since I am SUCH a genius, I left both bottles in there and didn't bother to toss the "bad" one away. Seriously I just couldn't stomach tossing the bottle that cost me 3X as much away. I couldn't do it.
That leads me to tonight.... I was making this batch of rolls trying to figure out which yeast was bad and which one wasn't. Nobody but me knows I am making these rolls, so they won't know any different if they turn and crappy and in the garbage, but I KNOW that I made them and it was hard work, so I would like them to turn out :).
On to personal revelation.... we will see how we can tie all this together (LOL). First of all, if we aren't worthy of living with the Spirit then we are unable to receive personal revelation for ourselves, our family, our children, our circumstances, or anything for that matter. Much like the dead yeast. It no longer works and you get bad or no rolls at all. (a stretch I know).
Interestingly enough when I was cooking I thought to myself, "you bought that at Safeway and you have some other in the pantry from there. It was all the same brand, so if you can find it you will know which brand you bought where and the one from Safeway is the 'bad' one." I looked in the pantry and sure enough the one I had used on my rolls was from Walmart... or the good one.
Personal Revelation? Sure. I think that we don't necessarily need BIG revelations. A lot of little ones will help us gain a testimony. I run. My dad runs (or used to) It is our time to think, ponder, and we have both received countless numbers of personal revelation while running. I would also ask my dad to do a 'gut check' for me. He would fast, pray, or whatever he had to do and get back to me, with a verdict on my question.
Throughout my life I have had a number of personal revelations, albeit through the still small voice and personal prayer. I don't believe very many people receive personal revelation through angels, or the Heavens opening, or visions. Personally, I don't think very many people could handle it. However, I am simple. I just like simple answers to 'simple' questions.
From a very young age, I knew that I would have a 'special needs' child. I didn't know what the special need would be, who it would be, or if it would be a girl or a boy. I just knew. And then I had Savannah and it was made sure. The moment I saw Doug walk into my physics class at BYU-Idaho, I knew he was the one (I just needed to convince him :)).
When I left for Havasupai, I knew something very bad was going to happen. I would check my gut every night and was relieved when I felt peace. And then something bad did happen. Something tragic happened. I knew that I would come out of it. I knew that I would be able to survive it, to survive the death of my baby. I work towards it every day. Someday I will look back and see all the bitter and the sweet.
I know that each of us is capable in some shape, form, or fashion to have a personal revelation from our Father in Heaven. It is His way of communcating with us. It is His way of showing us He loves us and wants us to be happy. I don't know if this answers my cousin's question, but that is my answer :).
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Migraines
Oh how I love a good migraine. Sucks all the energy, gives me black spots, and really is a PAIN.
When I was in college, my first semester, I was putting on my make up. All of the sudden I started seeing black spots. I thought what in the world is going on? I had no idea. I might have had a handful of migraines before, but never one with an aura (sign of something).
This particular day I began to freak out. It was early in the morning and I seriously thought I was going blind. I couldn't call the doctor because they weren't in yet and it was too early to call my mom. So I went to class.
About half way through my physics class (loaded with very cute boys, including my future husband) I had to RUN out of the room to the bathroom and puke. my. guts. out. It was the strangest thing I had ever experienced. I went back into the classroom somewhat sheepishly, grabbed my stuff, and headed home. My head was pounding and so I did what any college student would do. Took a cocktail of 3 extra strength Excedrin Tylenol, 2 Ibuprofen, covered my eyes, and went to sleep for 6 hours.
By the time I woke up, it was just a dull memory accompanied with a dull headache. I had experienced my first REAL. LIVE. MIGRAINE. Yeah. Throughout college I got them on and off depending on the stress and sugar levels in my blood.
Well they have resurfaced!!!! Can I say how seriously NOT excited I am about this? When I was pregnant with Daxton from about 30 to 36 weeks I experienced about 2-3 migraines a week. I only remember the weeks because I was doing a critical care rotation in nursing school and had one every other day for 4 weeks. Yay.
SO as I enter my 30th week, I am initiated with a repeat cycle of these lovely Ms. I have had 2 this week and it is only Thursday. I could seriously do with some suggestions that work for you all. I don't have the luxury of taking a Tylenol PM, Excedrin, or Percocet (which I think would REALLY work), so any other home remedies would be VERY much appreciated.
When I was in college, my first semester, I was putting on my make up. All of the sudden I started seeing black spots. I thought what in the world is going on? I had no idea. I might have had a handful of migraines before, but never one with an aura (sign of something).
This particular day I began to freak out. It was early in the morning and I seriously thought I was going blind. I couldn't call the doctor because they weren't in yet and it was too early to call my mom. So I went to class.
About half way through my physics class (loaded with very cute boys, including my future husband) I had to RUN out of the room to the bathroom and puke. my. guts. out. It was the strangest thing I had ever experienced. I went back into the classroom somewhat sheepishly, grabbed my stuff, and headed home. My head was pounding and so I did what any college student would do. Took a cocktail of 3 extra strength Excedrin Tylenol, 2 Ibuprofen, covered my eyes, and went to sleep for 6 hours.
By the time I woke up, it was just a dull memory accompanied with a dull headache. I had experienced my first REAL. LIVE. MIGRAINE. Yeah. Throughout college I got them on and off depending on the stress and sugar levels in my blood.
Well they have resurfaced!!!! Can I say how seriously NOT excited I am about this? When I was pregnant with Daxton from about 30 to 36 weeks I experienced about 2-3 migraines a week. I only remember the weeks because I was doing a critical care rotation in nursing school and had one every other day for 4 weeks. Yay.
SO as I enter my 30th week, I am initiated with a repeat cycle of these lovely Ms. I have had 2 this week and it is only Thursday. I could seriously do with some suggestions that work for you all. I don't have the luxury of taking a Tylenol PM, Excedrin, or Percocet (which I think would REALLY work), so any other home remedies would be VERY much appreciated.
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