Lunch with the Girls

About 10 years ago, my uncle died. There were several women at the time who had all lost their husbands within a short period of time. They all began hanging out together. Going on trips together. Getting lunch together. Relying on each other.

At the time, I thought this was rather hmmmm comical? interesting? morbid? I mean (at the ripe ol smart age of 19) weird!!!! Why would you all want to get together and have a cry a fest. Get over it. Move on.

Boy was I wrong. These women had a common bond. Something that many women had suffered before, but they were suffering now. They were in this together. They were grieving together. They were sharing their good days and buoying each other up on their bad days.

When Daxton died, I began a new journey in my life (willingly or not... more like kicking and screaming). It has been painful.

Physically painful: there were many mornings I couldn't get out of bed because it hurt so much, callings at church I hung on to by a thread because I couldn't do more than just show up, my house went to ... well... it was a mess because it just was too hard.

Devastating. I lost my right arm. Literally. Where my right arm held an infant, it was lost. Gone. Forever.

Lest I go back to that traumatizing day or last year..... AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN, I will refer you to June 2008 if my blog.

However, through all of that pain, devastation, 'hardness,' I have met the most talented, fascinating, strong, devoted, beautiful women. EVER. Not. Even. Joking. They are what get me through the hard times. They are the ones that are in this WITH me. They are the ones I call on when I can't/couldn't endure one more hard day.

About every 6 months, we all get together and have lunch. We don't necessarily talk about our losses. It is just where we all can go to a 'safe' place if you will. We can speak openly, candidly. Sometimes we have new 'angel moms' and sometimes we have the old ones. :). But each time, I leave feeling a little bit better. A little bit stronger. A little more like I can go on. If 'so and so' can do it, so can I. If they can make it through the first year, so can I. It is funny now, because I am now the "oldest" angel mom in our little group.

It wasn't so long ago that I felt alone. That no one had done this before me. Yet here I am. Surrounded by these amazing women. Women I never would have met if Daxton hadn't passed away (which no offense I would give up our friendships.... and truth be told, they would too :)). Yet again. Here I am. Amidst greatness. I don't attest to being anything great. But I am sure glad that I have others I can look to for strength.

SO thanks girls. Thank. You. So. Much.

Seriously????

Well I was wondering if the day would come.....

I have been training for 4 LONG months. 8 Miles no longer seems LONG. In fact our "short" runs consist of doing 12 miles.

We have completed

1-13 mile run

1-14 mile run

1-15 mile run

2-16 mile runs

2-17 mile runs

1-18 mile run

1-19 mile run

1-20 mil run

AND Many Many Many "short" runs like 8's, 9's, and 12's. In fact, I had to read "17 miles is not normal to run" about 4 times before I actually started to believe it (that is AFTER I said it to myself 12 times every hour for 2 days straight).

.... So it is NO wonder that I have injured myself. I believe that I have pulled my rectus femoralis muscle (after the 20 miler.... go figure). That is the muscle that attaches your hip and knee along the middle part of your thigh. Ya. It is a little painful. So when you see me limping. Please don't laugh.

I have shed many a tears through the pain. Through the let down that perhaps after all the above mentioned runs, if I don't complete the marathon it will be all for naught. The training is the hard part. The marathon is the easy part. And if I can't do it? Well boy that is a doozy.

You can forget the bragging rights. No one cares if you say "I trained for a marathon" They are only impressed when you say "I ran a marathon (2 if I actually finish this one)."

So here I sit. Leg propped up. At my computer. Eating peppermint bark and a few cookies. When really I should be partaking in oranges, green beans, and lettuce.... since those extra calories are going to do nothing for the figure :) since I am not running 40 miles this week. Just resting. But maybe I can sugar rush my way through the let down.

Not giving up hope yet, but if this week doesn't prove to be healing......

Bike for Sale

For Christmas we bought Mikenna a bike. It is ADORABLE.

One problem. TOO BIG. BUMMER.

And I bought it at Target.

With cash.

And I can't find the receipt.

Don't worry, I put in a GOOD faith effort in looking for it. I donned my Nitrile gloves I bought at Costco for such an occasion as this... and began trash digging. Yes. You read correctly. Trash digging. In the garbage in the house. And in the garbage in the big black garbage can.

And Yes It Was Disgusting. And would have been worth EVERY nasty diaper, rotten orange, spilled salad dressing, and petrified egg (I bet you didn't know that a 4 day old egg could be petrified or that an orange could turn black and leave all sorts of pleasant juices and fruit flies). But it wasn't Because the receipt is nowhere to be found. Nowhere.

And via the GREAT Target return policy of if you didn't purchase it with a credit card we can track or have a receipt then you are S-O-L. And they aren't that sorry. But then again, they did lose millions and millions of dollars from those good honest people who stole product from their store only to turn around and go back to another store and receive cash for their pilfered plethora of items.

And then there is me. I don't even care if I don't get the difference in $$$ back for the cheaper smaller bike. I just want the cheaper smaller bike so I can spend hours on end teaching my daughter to ride her bike that ACTUALLY is her size. Although this is a very laughable sight.

She is quite good on her 12" bike (what possessed me to jump 2 sizes in bikes I will never know or why I didn't take her to try it on for size or why I didn't gold plate the receipt and hide it in my important documents in my fireproof safe, I will never know) but when she hops on the bike that is too big, she forgets how to ride a bike altogether, steering, pedaling, braking, steering, pedaling, braking.

So I put it out to you. All of my fellow blog readers who live in the Arizona vicinity. Do you want to buy a bike?

http://www.target.com/Girls-Schwinn-DeeLite-20-Bike/dp/B00006JIE9/ref=sc_qi_detaillink

If you are interested in this wonderful bike, please leave an email address where I can contact you :) and we will go from there. The item in the store was $100 (see my dilemma? a bike that is too big.... and no good) PLUS tax. So I offer it to you at $85 and NO TAX :). Aren't I a saint? I know. I know.