T.W.E.N.T.Y. MILES

Yes that says 20 miles. I thought I was going die. I think if I didn't know any better I would say I hit the wall today. It hurt. A Lot.

But it was our last "long" run before the marathon.

And it was only 20. We still have 6.2 after that for the marathon. It will be a treat. Or something.

I would like to thank my husband for being so supportive and watching the kids whilst I arose at 430am every other Saturday to run and he watched the kids. And never complains.

And today when I can't even take two steps without wanting to fall over. He takes them for a walk. Or rubs my shoulders.

I put my shoes on, or my sandals rather, and noticed a HUGE blister the size of my little toe, on my big toe. It hurts. But I try not to look at it. It hurts less :).

Gramos are the BEST

What can I say? Gramos are the BEST!!!

I mean how many gramos do you know will take you to the dollar store and

walk out with a loot like this?

Or take you to get your toes done, Like this?

Or your Finger nails, Like this?

EVERY other Saturday while Mom sleeps?

Not very many.

And Lets not forget the Kisserbella. (no that isn't her REAL name, but we sure like it and that is what we call her.

She spends half her life in the high chair. Snacking. On the table. While I cook. Or eat.

OH I seriously LOVE her :) Sorry dad. I think it is a great pic of you :)

And who doesn't love going to the cabin in Heber. With a broken heater. In the winter. When you are from MESA. Where it is NEVER cold? We do. We did. Then we came home. Because this is the attire we donned while there.

O I love this face. Isn't she the cutest little dear you have EVER seen? She will only eat salted crackers. No sweet ones for her. Whose kid is she anyway?

She is too big for this. Too big I say.

Where did the time go? She will be one soon. Jan 23 to be exact.

Just a Memory

I crawled into bed and then I crawled right out.

I usually enjoy Fast and Testimony meetings. I do. Usually.

A sweet older woman said today, (and there was a preface, but it isn't really that important. Ok maybe it is, but it isn't what I remember) "When you lose a child they become just a memory."

I am sorry? REWIND. What did she just say? I looked over at Doug. Apparently he wasn't paying attention, or maybe he was which was why I couldn't get his attention. Seriously? Seriously?

I am sure she has had her fair share of trials. I am sure of it. Really. I am. But seriously? Why not say something like, "oh and that time you didn't have enough money to buy bread?" or "when you were in that car accident, but everybody was ok" or "when you were fat and now you are skinny" or "when you locked yourself out of the car" or "your dog died." Those my friends are memories.

Why use something SO dramatic? SO close to home? I mean seriously? SERIOUSLY???? There are TWO people I KNOW who are listening that have "lost a child who is now just a memory that we will look back on." SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why would you say something like that? WHY o WHY o WHY? Especially when you are NOT one of the TWO that HAVE lost a child?

I am glad that I am not easily offended (or maybe I am.... I just observed all the CAPITAL letters and !!!! points included :)), but lets be real here. What in this world would possess you to say something so LAME!!!! I have other words, but we will stick with lame.

You know what the worst part is? It. Is. True. Really. That is the worst part. The absolute worst part.

I am not a New Year's Resolution maker. I'm just not that good. But I am a really good New Year's Resolution braker. Too bad this has to be my first 2010 post, but it is what it is. Timing is everything.

I am going on my second full year without Daxton. It is hard. But it is true. Sadly. However, I am one year closer to seeing him. Hopefully I have become a better person in the last year. Better so that I will one day REALLY be able to see him again. To raise him. To love him. To kiss him. To hold him.

And it won't just be a memory. It won't be the cold piece of paper that a photograph provides. It won't be the stale smell of the ziploc bag holding the unwashed last pieces of his laundry. It will be real.

Last year to make New Years easier (if that is possible, considering I had a total breakdown) we decided to set goals. Goals that would be attainable, doable, unbreakable. Now I don't know about you, but I have to be accountable to someone. So I decided to be accountable to Daxton. He is the one that keeps me on track. He is the one that keeps me motivated.

Why you might ask? Well the goals I set last year were supposed to be goals that would help me to better myself so that I could live with him again. I am doing that same thing this year. I was accountable last year. My goal was attainable. Hopefully I can do the same this year.

There are a few more goals this year, but hopefully I will be able to remember them and be able to accomplish them.